5 things I want you to know about sickness during pregnancy
As many of you may know I have spoken a great deal about my struggle with pregnancy, the transition into motherhood, the fourth trimester and being diagnosed with PND. So this morning I bring you my top 5 things I want you to know about Sickness in Pregnancy, based of course on my own experiences of motherhood.
During my pregnancy I suffered sickness. I struggled A LOT and although I asked for help on many occasions I was not given any by the Midwife or GP. But here's what I want you know about my Sickness During Pregnancy.
1. Ginger doesn’t always help! - I lost count the amount of people that told me to try ginger but it did not work! It might for some people but for me it didn’t. Also don’t you think I would have tried it? It’s the first thing that comes up on near enough every website to help with sickness! I tried absolutely everything and anything that was meant to help the sickness, nothing did. I asked countless times for help from the midwife and GP but they offered no help either and I felt like I was left to suffer alone. So please don't ask if I tried Ginger!
2. Don’t say ‘oh you are only pregnant you aren’t dying, just deal with it’ - No I might not be dying but do you actually have any idea how both physically and mentally exhausting it is being sick so much in one day? Ever had a sickness bug? Well those few days you spent in bed feeling sick and being sick, imagine that for 9 whole months! Every single day of those 9 months! Then imagine on top of that you still have to go to work because otherwise you won’t get paid, you need to cook, clean and want to maybe have a bit of a social life. Then imagine being so physically exhausted that you are in bed at 7pm each night, stressed because you can’t do very much and that you aren’t pulling your weight at work and at home and then worried about your baby, as everything you eat comes back up. On top of that also picture that each time you ask a medical professional for any help they tell you to just deal with it too. So basically what I’m trying to say is don’t tell a pregnant woman, any pregnant woman for that matter, that she is ‘only pregnant’ being pregnant is a bloody big deal! And you don’t know the story to her getting pregnant and her pregnancy journey so far!
3. Don’t say ‘well as long as the baby is healthy’ - yes of course I want my baby to be healthy. But how about me? Me being sick everyday for 9 months isn’t healthy! I’m hardly eating, hardly drinking and I am exhausted.
4. Don’t say ‘it won’t last past 16 weeks’ - Do you know how much I wished to hit 16 weeks just with the hope of not feeling and being sick anymore! The amount of people that just kept telling me it will pass and yes I am sure it was well meant but it didn’t pass. It lasted 9 long months! 9 months were I felt sick and was sick every single day!
5. Please don’t ask when I’m having my next baby! - I write this point tentatively as many people have asked this. In fact two people asked me already this week and one person asked me a few days after having Isabella. I have a 7 month old, I’m in no rush. When people would ask me right after having Isabella (like I was ready to jump straight it and do it all again) I’d say quite bluntly ‘I’m done’ and do you know why I’d say this? Particularly because I just didn’t feel the need for such a question but mostly because of 9 months where I was sick every day, my job suffered, my relationship with my husband, friends and family suffered and I was unable to do so many things, I was not thinking about rushing in to having another child. In fact having another child scares the living daylights out of me because I am so frightened I would spend another 9 months being sick and I don’t think my mental wellbeing could actually cope with that.
6. There was another thing that came to mind too - (sorry it’s not quite 5) but please ladies if you know a Mum who’s pregnant or a new mum, actually just any mum, please check in on them! My mental health suffered so much whilst I was pregnant. I felt useless, like what I needed was ignored because all of a sudden I’d just become this vessel for a baby to grow in, I lost myself. I literally just ‘existed’ for 9 months. And I think this start to becoming a mum and the lack of support was a big influencer in my PND.
If you need help and support for sickness during Pregnancy please do get in contact with Pregnancy Sickness Support. I so wish I had known about them during my pregnancy as talking to someone who knew what I was going through really would have made a difference. Visit their website here.