This morning I'm bringing you our next blog post our Mummy Blog Series! Every week I'll be sharing one of these fabulous Mummy Blogs that so many of you of have got involved in!Read More
This month I'm focusing on sharing my story and others stories about PND. Sharing these stories is tough and although at every point I write about my experiences I am worried about what others may think, I know it is 100% crucial to my recovery.
Today I am sharing my story...
On Monday 14th May 2018 I finally made the decision to see my GP, he diagnosed me with PND.
I hadn’t felt ‘right’ since having Isabella and at first I put these feelings down to the baby blues but as time has gone on those feeling have stayed and worsened. I think perhaps these feelings even began when I was pregnant. These feelings; regret, guilt, that I’m not good enough; have become too much. I just feel empty, I’m going through the motions rather than being fully present. These feelings are so raw and writing this I feel embarrassed and incredibly vulnerable. But I know that for me to recover that I need to talk.
I just felt empty. I felt guilty, annoyed and disappointed in myself, looking at my baby, the baby I’d so longed for, and feeling nothing. I’d look at other mums and see their un-devoted love and undivided attention for their baby and I didn’t even know how to talk to mine.
Since opening up about my struggles with motherhood I’ve felt like a massive weight has been lifted. I no longer have to hide my feelings and pretend everything is okay, when it isn’t. I might put makeup on each day, make sure my hair is okay and try to leave the house as much as I can but that doesn’t mean that I am okay inside. Knowing that how I have been feeling is okay, that I’m not alone and that I am now on the road to recovery with the right help is making those hard days, those days where nothing will shift the feelings of emptiness or regret, a little easier.
A few weeks later I had my first counselling appointment and it felt good just to get it all out. I cried, I reflected and I realised that there were other things that possibly had had an impact that I hadn’t seen before. I realised that in fact I did have a pretty rough deal during pregnancy and perhaps my feeling of emptiness had started then, counting down the days till I was no longer sick three times a day, till I could actually leave the house other than for work, till I could actually do things for myself again.
I didn’t at first talk about how I was truly feeling, worried about the reaction of others, particularly my friends and family and even my husband. But I knew that how I was feeling couldn’t go on. I want to be able to enjoy my daughter.
I hope to, were I feel able to to share my story of PND and my road to recovery. I still am worried about the judgement and reaction from some but what is important is that I get better and that my relationship with my daughter gets better too. I know I have to be honest in order for me to get better, because I have to and I want to get better.
As many of you may know I have spoken a great deal about my struggle with the transition into motherhood, the fourth trimester and being diagnosed with PND. So this morning I bring you my top 10 things not to say to a new mum, based of course on my own experiences of motherhood.Read More
I hope you all enjoyed reading our first two Daddy Blog Series! As well as the Mummy Blog Series I will now be bringing you our Daddy Blog Series too were Daddies will be sharing their Daddy Wins. Our third Daddy blog is from Jason.Read More
Last Friday I launched my first ever Kickstarter campaign. It’s safe to say that the last 7 days have been me constantly checking to see if anyone else has pledged and if I am any closer to hitting the target.Read More
This morning I'm bringing you our next blog post our Mummy Blog Series this morning! Every week I'll be sharing one of these fabulous Mummy Blogs that so many of you of have got involved in!
Every week one mum will be answering two questions and a few This or That questions sharing some of their stories about motherhood!Read More
I hope you all enjoyed reading our first Daddy Blog Series! As well as the Mummy Blog Series I will now be bringing you our Daddy Blog Series too where Daddies will be sharing their Daddy Wins. Our second Daddy blog is from Stephen.Read More
I hope you all enjoyed reading our first two Mummy Blog Series! On a Tuesday I will now be bringing you our Daddy Blog Series too where Daddies will be sharing their Daddy Wins. Our first Daddy blog is from Lawrence who is the owner of Atticus Box.Read More
I am so excited to be bringing you the first blog for our Mummy Blog Series this morning! Every two weeks I'll be sharing one of these fabulous Mummy Blogs that so many of you of have got involved in!Read More
Next week I'll be launching my Mummy Blog Series bringing you blog posts each week/every two weeks (I haven't yet quite decided) from mums. Lots of you have been in contact to take part and I can't wait to share your stories.Read More
Last Monday I launched the #Iamwinningasamummy campaign. The campaign was an idea to continue the conversation about maternal mental health and to also promote positive wellbeing in mummies.Read More